Monday Morning Quarterback

Stuff I learned on Sunday

Why get up at 5:00 when you can get up at 6:00?

Why get up at 6:00 when you can get up at 7:00?

Why get up at 7:00 when your guilty conscience can drag you from bed at 6:30?

Head colds make worship much more interesting.

If you schedule two Sunday school classes for the same time, don’t cancel one; find a way to do them both.

High school debaters sometimes get sucked into a merciless torture chamber called a “weekend tournament.” Often,  they never reappear.

Sometimes the Children’s Time is an exercise in stretching a metaphor. Water=greeting people=welcome our new Nursery Director. But water also=saying goodbye to people, which=farewell to the departing Nursery Director and also=commissioning people for a work trip=Jesuslovesyouamen.

If the Children’s Music Director has the flu, the Associate Pastor may spend the second hour of worship on the floor with children tapping out a rhythm to “Happy.”

If the rhythm sticks can’t be found, that can of markers will work just fine.

The apple juice is in the nursery.

When the 9:00 youth Sunday school hour is up, sometimes the volunteer teacher stays in the youth room and talks with students–throughout the worship hour.

Two members of my church are turning some heads with this blog.

If the president of a seminary is your guest preacher, you may get to take him to lunch.

If you think you’re taking the seminary president to lunch, he may actually be taking you to lunch.

The seminary president’s spouse used to direct this really cool college for preachers at the National Cathedral that doesn’t exist anymore.

If you take the seminary president to lunch, your colleague will take him to the airport. Division of labor.

The Royals host the A’s for the AL Wildcard on Tuesday. There’s a ticket with my name on it in KC, but I can’t get there to claim it.

Jillian Michaels is The Devil. 

Sometimes, all Daughter will eat is beans.

You learn a lot less on Sunday when you’re not at youth group. Struggling to not text students.

The Homeland season 1 finale will keep you up past your bedtime.

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