The thing you’re trying to learn keeps changing, doesn’t it? You’re working on launching new collaborative projects, but, after a few launches, the projects need something else from you in order to endure. They need persistent leadership toward sustainability, so you try to learn that.
Or maybe you moved. You went from an environment with loads of freedom to tinker and experiment to one that runs instead on process and the chain of command. You need to learn a new way to work, because persisting in the mode that worked in the first place is not going to work in the second. It might work for some things, some new and interesting things, but unless you learn to master process and chain of command, none of your experiments will impact the environment the way you want them to.
“This is how I do things” is not something a professional says.
But does all of that stifle your creativity and change you into something you’re not?
I think I’m more creative within constraints.