Note: Monday Morning Quarterback is a weekly post reviewing Sunday, the busiest, most stressful, most gratifying day in the week of a pastor/parent/spouse/citizen.
Song of The Day:
6:00. Alarm going off. Snooze not working. Remember alarm clock app I downloaded that rings until you’ve taken 10 steps with it in hand. What if I throw it?
6:01. Downstairs, finger over phone speaker, walking hurried circles around the living room. Alarm not stopping. Power down.
6:11. Coffee in hand. Phone back on. Quiet.
6:48. Finish agenda for Triennium Delegation meeting this afternoon. What’s the statute of limitations on your go-to ice breaker, anyway?
7:04. Daughter protests, “Daddy!” from her bunk as I top the stairs outside her room. She thinks it’s a school day and that I’ve come to retrieve her. “Shhh. It’s a church day.” Silence.
7:58. Take wife a cup of coffee in bed and head out the door.
8:11. Greeted by ceramic elk head on my desk. What the?!
8:15. Head of Staff arrives. Ask her, “Do you know anything about this?” hoisting the grisly elk head. She looks at the ground. “I didn’t put it there.” Awkward pause. “Do you know anything about it?” She walks away. Blurg! Pastors’ kids!
8:22. Finessing the formatting on the sign listing Christian Formation Hour room assignments is surely a sign of a poor understanding of the relationship between causes and effects (“Coffee And A Good Book” is in Room 1, by the way).
8:47. Laptop and projector assembled in sanctuary, ready to show slideshow of 30 Hour Famine pics before worship.
8:53. Frantic. Can’t find Jr. High youth group curriculum for the afternoon. I’ll be gone. Volunteers need it. Failing them. Noooooo!
9:14. Final confirmation class with students who joined as Active Members during last week’s session meeting: brief history of the Protestant Reformation. Making a point to mention Servetus. Glad we saved that til after they joined.
9:47. I just said, “vocare.” I’ve lost them.
10:08. Acolyte trying to light all six candles solo before the end of the Introit. Not . . . gonna . . . make . . . . it . . . . run over and light the last one so he can lead the Call To Worship.
10:19. Student uses Peace-passing time to narrate something for Monday Morning Quarterback. “10:19,” he says . . . wait. What was the rest of it?
10:21. Commissioning a mission volunteer during Children’s Time. Ask the kids to lay hands on his shoes. Much giggling, but I learned my lesson the last time I asked a group of children to press their palms onto an unsuspecting commissionee. Never again.
10:23. Kids singing with much clapping and west African drumming, piano and organ accompanying a pop song. Dizzy from happiness.
10:40. Folks in the balcony are swatting at something. They notice I’m watching, and someone does the hand motions to “The Eentsy Weentsy Spider.”
11:09. Talking easily with a Deacon, resting my elbow atop the metal coffee percolator. Doh!
11:22. Gotta be in two places at once. Kiss wife and daughter as they head to a carnival.
11:31. Jr. High youth group volunteer calmly remembers where all the curriculum is. Weep tears of joy.
12:12. Grabbing lunch to go.
12:39. Eating lunch in the youth room, watching a couple innings of the Royals/Indians game. Get to see this.
1:38. Driving with students to Triennium delegation meeting. They’re rotating turns playing songs from their iPhones, having trouble finding music without profanity. Sigh.
2:30. Our Triennium delegation is awesome. That is all.
3:12. Students requesting food for commute home. I need gas, so I guarantee a chance for gas station food.
3:34. After passing two gas stations with insufficient convenience marts, finally find a satisfactory one. Students suddenly realize they brought no money. Blurg!
3:52. Something amazing happens on the drive home. I didn’t do it.
4:14. Back at church in time to check in with Junior High youth group volunteers before skipping out for a commitment for wife’s work. Tell them I love them and mean every ounce of it.
4:32. Return home to find wife ironing and daughter in bath in preparation for wife’s work commitment. Daughter: “Get away from me!” I’m wanted less and less.
5:35. In the car, playing bargain bin cd find for daughter, some story about a pure and spotless lamb named Judah who thinks he’s a lion.
5:39. Daughter is bored with the fable and protests, “I want a real Bible story!” Atta girl!
6:12. Daughter from the back seat: “When are we gonna be there?!”
6:22. Arrive. Daughter asleep, hunched over the arm of her booster seat. Wake her up. She exclaims, “Wow! That was fast!”
6:46. Sipping Pinot Noir on a Pasadena patio full of pediatricians. Wonder if they can tell I’m a dunce just by looking at me or if they need to hear me speak first.
7:12. Move to the front lawn with daughter, who is eager to prepare a “feast” on the unoccupied picnic table. She brings crackers, arranges them, then prays over them.
7:15. Daughter skipping through the garden singing the Celtic Alleluia chorus we use in worship.
8:27. Daughter has set up shop in hosts living room, performing somersaults on their couch.
9:43. Home. Check email to find message from a stranger questioning a blog post I wrote 15 months ago. Head to bed.
9:55. Come back downstairs to answer email about blog post.
11:20. Monday Morning Quarterback: done.