Communion is not the same thing as harmony. This is helpful to recall during the week that leads to World Communion Sunday.

Yesterday I spent 90 minutes planning World Communion Sunday worship with the Pastor of the Spanish speaking congregation that worships on our campus and an Elder from the Indonesian speaking church that also worships on our campus. Three churches. Three languages. Organized by three people. This thing’s going to be a mess.

But it will still be communion. Christ will still be present.

One of the worst executed communion services I ever experienced was at the close of our youth work camp last summer, where there was one crusty loaf and one chalice for over 100 worshipers. It took nearly 20 minutes. Adding a second station would have cut the time in half. It was still communion.

The institution of the communion meal was no smooth production either. One guy got up and left. People were confused. Jesus was distraught. There was no moving mood music or penetrating looks from an officiant earnestly pronouncing your name as she placed a bite-sized morsel into your trembling hand.

Still: Christ. Present. Communion.

Some people can’t stay away from church.

After calling on church to be the thing that backs down in peoples’ lives (but not always), let’s acknowledge the dog that’s not barking in that assertion: our oppressive time commitments result from opportunities for achievement. And not everybody is swimming in those opportunities.

There are people in church for whom this is the best thing going. Maybe they work fewer hours. Maybe they’re not taking honors classes. Maybe they didn’t make the track team or the show choir. Maybe they’re bored. 

I’m sure lots of people turned away from Jesus because they had better things to do–important things, like burying their dead.The ones who took up his invitation were called by God and irresistibly drawn. And their fishing business wasn’t exactly killing.

The gospel Jesus proclaimed promises sight to the blind, food for the hungry, and freedom for the captive. It’s a message of God’s overturning of the conventions of opportunity and achievement in favor of the castoffs and the bored. Jesus’ message has always been a tough sell for those already winning at life (the demise of Christendom is providing the North American church with a huge opportunity to rediscover this).

There are students I meet with each week who don’t need texts or emails of Facebook posts reminding them what time to come. They’re at the church early, and if I’m not there I hear from them. They have space and a time for it because they don’t have hours or A.P. homework, tutoring, or soccer practice. For many that’s not a reflection of priorities but of opportunities.

Praise God for an abundance of opportunities and the remarkable achievements wrested from them. Also, praise God for the abundance of time in opportunity’s absence. Because that absence is an opening for the church to contribute value. 

Yesterday’s post generated a constructive conversation both in the comments and on Facebook about what churches expect from members, including youth, and what those expectations convey about the importance of what we’re doing. One commentator observed, ” I have never yet heard anyone complain that working on something they were truly passionate about made them too busy.”

Let’s add some nuance to the claim that “Church Should Be The Thing That Backs Down.” Because not everything the church does is the same. Backing down on worship attendance and youth group participation in favor of all the other things people are committed to is a move toward health. I’ve never once felt the need to coerce worship attendance over soccer, or even the “personal retreats” everybody needs now and again. 

But churches also commit to serving the poor and doing valuable work in the world, and backing down on those commitments is less healthy. That doesn’t help anyone. 

I had a student years ago who was prone to pulling out of commitments in the 11th hour. I finally had to hold the line with her and say, “No. You have to do this now. You committed to it and people are counting on you.” She honored the commitment and she thrived. I think that approach served the student’s long-term growth. 

Compare that to the way I failed at this when three students cancelled on last summer’s youth work trip just a few weeks beforehand. I didn’t hold their feet to the fire. Mostly, that’s because I was painfully aware of how poorly I had prepared students to go on the trip; precious little community had been built among participants, and students (and their parents) knew far too little about what we would actually be doing. It was a date on their calendar not difficult to swap for something else. That was on me. 

We have to pick the spots where we don’t back down. That means we have to do our work in advance, so that quitting is the last thing people want to do. 

And always grace and mercy abound. 

The students I work with are busy. They are debaters, soccer players, and high achievers in the classroom. So when they have a game the same Saturday as a youth retreat, they miss the retreat, and if Monday morning’s homework isn’t finished by Sunday at 7:00, they’re not coming to youth group either.

I’m over being annoyed at this. For a long time I carried a kind of chip on my shoulder about playing second fiddle to all of my students’ more important commitments. I’m convinced now that a youth leader who begrudges kids the things that take them away from church is doing nothing to help them grow. 

Most of the commitments my students take on are zero sum operations when it comes to student’s participation; water polo expects 100% of your effort and loyalty, just like theater does, and just like–lurking in the background–teachers do. My students are conscientious and driven, and I can see them striving to give what’s expected of them. And heaven help them when a game conflicts with a performance or a test, because none of the adult leaders–not the coach, not the director, not the teacher–are backing down from their demand for 100%. The student will be penalized by whatever she misses. 

Maybe my students need church to be the thing that backs down and that expects whatever percentage of themselves they’re able to give–today. Maybe we should celebrate the community that God has gathered today, this weekend, or this work trip, without regard for how it compares to the group we had last week or last year.

My student communities are all appreciably different every time they gather, because their responsibilities and extra-curricular opportunities shape a shifting landscape that barely any of them can manage. Almost none of them prioritize church over everything else. I’m okay with that. Because they’re here today. 

Rather than 100% of their effort and loyalty throughout a season or production, maybe church youth groups and events should make more of the asset we actually have when students gather, something more durable than loyalty and more valuable than their fear of getting cut: the 100% they are offering of their desire to be here now.  

And when they’re there, let’s give them 100% of our attention and connection without expecting future participation in return.