Monday Morning Quarterback

Monday Morning Quarterback

Stuff I learned on Sunday

The 5:30 AM airport run is a terrific way to start The Lord’s Day.

Eating a banana on the 105 is breakfast. Eating two is brunch.

When Sunday school and worship employ three separate pieces of technology, you’d better come early.

If the laptop you’re setting up in the sanctuary shuts down to install (Windows!) updates, you can go work on the one in the Fellowship hall.

When the laptop you’re setting up in the Fellowship Hall shuts down to install (curse you Bill Gates!) updates, you can curse in the hopes that nobody’s lurking in the kitchen to hear you.

The DVD’s that accompany this PC(USA)-though-not-really-PC(USA) curriculum are garbage. We ordered 20 copies, and, while I can’t say for certain that the whole batch is defective, I can say that at least nine are.

When you ship a defective product, it’s no good to include a shipping note explaining that “.1%” of the products are defective, but that, since it’s free anyway, don’t sweat it.

Our church’s Sunday morning custodian has seen a UFO.

When worship involves three congregations and melds three languages, it will not go smoothly. Best to say that up front.

Tears for Fears wrote liturgical music, as emphatically proven by my students singing “Mad World” as an Introit.

“Holy, Holy, Holy” in Indonesian sounds pretty amazing.

When you’re using a laptop to project a slide in worship and that laptop is connected to the sanctuary’s sound system, you should mute the laptop so that the notification “ping” doesn’t ring out during the Children’s Time.

The we’re-all-different-but-the-same Children’s Time message can be undermined by one child who exclaims, “Yeah, like white bread!”

Asking the Spanish and Indonesian-speaking preachers to add English translations in their sermons is a convenient way for the English-speaking preacher to weasel out of preaching.

The multilingual Great Prayer of Thanksgiving is amazing–if only the worship planner remembers to put the words in the bulletin.

Our choir is the coolest. 

Lunch with Murphy and Veronica is relaxing and exciting at the same time.

It’s taken less than a week for me to become an emotionally-invested evangelist for Alex Blumberg’s Startup podcast. 

The preacher nap should always precede the grocery shopping. Always.

When you shop from the Cooking with Trader Joe’s cookbook, half your cart will contain jars and cans.

When the Tigers are getting swept out of the playoffs, you should stay in the car to hear the final play and then say a prayer for your Tiger fan friend.

When your spouse is mixing a shampoo substitute and mistakenly combines baking powder (instead of baking soda) with vinegar in a kitchen spray bottle, the explosion will be loud but harmless.

Roasting is a tasty way to use those tomatoes that didn’t make it into the previous week’s meals.

Being a father and husband means interrupting the greatest thing to happen to the Royals in 29 years so your wife and daughter can watch Cupcake Wars.

When the neighbors you took to the airport at 5:30 in the morning invite you to use their t.v. while they’re gone, there’s no better use than to be part of this:

Oh, The Broncos played today too?


2 thoughts on “Monday Morning Quarterback

  1. matt says:

    how did I miss this before? I don’t know. I appreciate the prayers even if, as in this case, prayer is employed as either a weapon for gloating or to stay the hand of the angry, self-critical, downcast Detroiter.

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