Monday Morning Quarterback

Note: Monday Morning Quarterback is a weekly post reviewing Sunday, the busiest, most stressful, most gratifying day in the week of a pastor/parent/spouse/citizen

Song of the day:

 

 6:13. Get out of bed couch as house guest opens the front door, thunking it against the latched security chain and cursing, on his way to Starbucks to finish the morning’s sermon (house guest is also the guest preacher for the day). Threaten to beat him senseless (house guest is also a close personal friend).

6:15. Fire up the computer to the cold reminder that the Broncos blew their playoff game the day before. Wonder: if losing in the divisional round is all the same, wasn’t it more fun with Tebow?

6:17. Decide I’m over football.

6:57. Put the finishing touches on the youth group outlines for later in the afternoon. High school outline consists only of “Check In (possibly by student),” “Game,” “Bible.” Oddly, calm.

7:33. House guest returns and we leave for church, I in a snazzy purple shirt and tie I got for Christmas. Also, my new tie pin.

8:12. Return home with house guest to retrieve his preaching robe. Carry it to the car like Mr. Bates. Insist on the correct pronunciation of “Valet” for the rest of the day.

 

9:04. Introduce house guest to adult Sunday School class, listing all of his credentials except his 13 year tenure as a church pastor. Next time . . .

9:13. Watch house guest lead class on the inclusion of LGBTQ people in the church. Savor the sudden realization that all is well: my friend is doing God’s work out in the open without fear.

9:48. Joke with Head of Staff that house guest packed three white stoles and needs help choosing one. She puts on hers, a white-with-green-patterned one she got in Jerusalem. Joke: “Good choice. Surely [house guest] doesn’t have one like that.”

9:52. Advise house guest to wear the white-with-red-patterned stole he got in Jerusalem.

9:58. Insist that the acolytes wear white cinctures instead of the green they’ve donned. For Heaven’s sake, it’s Baptism of The Lord.

10:16. Enlist house guest in Children’s Time, sliding baptismal font halfway across the chancel like an old couch. Tell kids we do “some things” with the font, then correct myself, “Well, we really only do one thing with it.” Decide to push it a step further: “youth group games notwithstanding.” Stop. Just stop.

10:42. Listen to house guest bring the Word.

12:34. Finish lunch as another football game is finishing. Note that earlier decision to be over football was foolish.

1:38. Text from student: “if someone were to throw the baptismal font and accidentally break it…how much would it cost to replace?” Resolve to can joking during Children’s Time. Delighted, though, that students were there and paying attention.

3:01. Bid goodbye to house guest. Make plan to stew in sadness for the rest of the afternoon.

3:30. Get to work on jar salads. Allow 4 year-old to assemble two of them (mom will get those ones). Vegetables chopped, dressing made, and 10 salads done in an hour. Clean up not so much.

4:43. Discover I’ve come to jr. high youth group without my lesson plan. Deputize staff volunteer to lead youth group.

4:53. Students share uniformly that their favorite thing about church is youth group and their least favorite thing about church is worship. Wonder what to do about that.

5:22. Marvel at the commitment and skill of youth group volunteers.

7:18. High School student announces, “It’s not littering if you don’t throw it!” Must write that down.

8:41. Lead lectio divina with Isaiah 43. Glory. Precious. Honor.

9:23. Back home, put 4 year-old in bed to loud protestations, listen to her scream for 37 minutes before falling asleep.

10:12. Decide I’m over football.