Monday Morning Quarterback
Note: Monday Morning Quarterback is a weekly post reviewing Sunday, the busiest, most stressful, most gratifying day in the week of a pastor/parent/spouse/citizen.
Song of the day:
Unknown time. Eyes open to darkened living room. Look out the window at an eastern sky that is grudgingly lightening. Check watch. 4:30. Parents visiting from Denver: asleep in my bed. Wife and daughter: asleep in daughter’s room. Me: awake on the couch.
5:00. Give up trying to sleep. Coffee on.
5:16. Leafing through The Powers That Be in an attempt to solidify the Adult Education program I’m leading in a few hours. Not looking good.
6:02. Drain coffee cup and close my eyes for a few more moments of jittery sleep.
6:15. The L.A. Times on my Kindle. Comprehending nothing.
7:11. Daughter coming downstairs so I throw a blanket over my head. You know, to hide. She pulls the blanket off and screams, “Found you!”
7:12. Wife descends the stairs with a gift bag full of children’s books for a baby shower after church.
7:15. Explaining to daughter that leaving for church by myself in about 20 minutes. She’ll come later with Grandma and Grandpa. Mommy is staying home to set up for this afternoon’s Egyptian Birthday Party Bonanza.
7:45. Wife prevails upon me to take Daughter, Grandma, and Grandpa to church with me so she can finish party preparations uninterrupted.
8:01. Dressed for church, setting up folding tables on the lawn. And moving a lawn umbrella. And taking out trash. Stress mounting.
8:04. Wife to Daughter: don’t let Daddy forget the books for the baby shower. Insulted.
8:05. Neighbor to me. “On your way home from church get about 30 lbs of ice for the party.” I got this.
8:07. Pleading with Daughter to brush her teeth. My dad’s sitting and smiling, watching me struggle at the basics of child rearing.
8:12. Off to church with Grandpa, Grandma, and Daughter. Daughter is rocking a purple scarf she got as a birthday present.
8:17. Arrive at church to the realization that I forgot the bag of books for the baby shower. Curse.
8:23. Making the rounds: youth room, adult Sunday school room, office, sanctuary. Everything is as it should be, but something feels off.
8:42. Former student who just finished her freshman year in college shows up. Much rejoicing.
9:07. Trying to condense reams of research on the effects of media violence on behavior by saying, “nobody really knows.”
9:40. 10 minutes left in the adult education forum, and I’m about a third of the way through what I had planned. Fail.
9:52. Acolyte comes to retrieve me from Sunday school. Now that’s a reversal.
10:13. Daughter and her playmate processing down the center aisle with orange, red, and yellow pom poms they made in Sunday school for Pentecost. Playmate stops halfway down the aisle and performs some left and right elbow jabs. Impressive.
10:34. It’s a special service focusing on music, so most prayers replaced with hymns. Deciding against singing the Scripture lesson. Then, deciding against joking about having decided against singing the Scripture lesson.
12:17. Return home from church without the ice I was told to get. Curse. Shoving leftover party sandwiches in my mouth on my way to the store.
12:53. Return from store. Wife has transformed condo complex courtyard to into an Egyptian tableau: tables, decorations, a painted backdrop, a tent. It’s impressive, to say the least.
1:39. Trying on Wife’s best party decoration: a “full-figured” adult Pharaoh costume. Man, I look good.
3:06. Guests arriving for party. Nobody else wearing a Pharaoh costume.
3:39. Enjoy an afternoon and evening of great food, family, lovely weather, and Daughter. Top that, universe.
10:10. Truncate the end of Monday Morning Quarterback. Toooo trred t’finsh.